Adventures with a Palmetto Bug, Waitng at the Passport Office, and a New Word Added to the Vocabulary

As part of my daily morning routine, one of the first things I do after changing Ainsley's diaper, is let the dogs outside to go potty. Well, this morning I opened the back door to allow the pups access to the great outdoors and sitting there in the doorstep just outside the door is a frickin' HUGENORMOUS palmetto bug! As the dogs scampered out with legs crossed, they managed to somehow overlook the bug sitting there that was as big as they were. Living in Florida, I am no stranger to palmetto bugs. Does this mean that I don't mind them or find them to be wonderful little creatures? Nope, not one bit. I know that they are not roaches, but still, they look just like them, only BIGGER, so therefore, are more DISGUSTING. Ugh.

So anyway, the dogs scampering past this thing made it decide to run. Where did it run, you ask? Why, inside my house is where it decided to run. WONDERFUL. I immediately grab a flip flop to chase this bugger down with, as it is scurrying across the floor to Ainsley's toys. OH HECK NO. If that bug went in her toy box, I'd never find it. Her toy box is like a black hole, things go in but they don't come out. Thank goodness something made this bug decide to change paths and run in the other direction.

Picture this........ I am still in my pajamas, barefoot and not fully awake, chasing this bug with a hot pink flip flop raised in the air, like I am on my way to battle. Ainsley is running after me, still in her pajamas and barefoot, but she is fully awake. Her little finger is outstretched, pointing at this bug. Coming out of her mouth is an everlasting stream of, "Ewww ewww ewwww!!!!!!" The dogs were on the outside windowsill, looking in at us like we were insane. I'm sure we were a site to behold.

After a few minutes of chasing this bug, it decides to run back outside. Whew! I really DO NOT like crushing bugs with shoes. SO GROSS. Finally, we were bug free and able to drink our coffee and milk.

A little while later, it was time to load up and take Nah-Nah (my mom, to Ainsley) to the Post Office to apply for her Passport. We had all of the paperwork filled out and ready to go. She had her birth certificate in her purse. As neither one of us have ever had a passport, we did not know what to expect once we got to the Post Office. I was ASSuming that we would just stand in the regular line for the Post Office and be in and out within 30 minutes, tops. I was SO wrong. Off the main lobby of this particular Post Office, there is a minuscule room. Inside this room, there are 15 or 20 chairs, all filled with people. There are also people standing along the walls and windows. This was the Passport Office. WHOOPEE!!! Good thing I had snacks and milk for Ainsley.

My mom got signed in and we began our wait. After about 5 minutes or so, 2 chairs along the wall were vacated, so we staked our claim on them. Not too long later, another employee came out and starting calling names. There were now 2 people working hard to get the room emptied out. Seeing as how each person was taking approximately 15-20 minutes each, I knew this was going to take a while. WONDERFUL. Exactly what I like to do with an antsy toddler, wait around in a room full of people, crammed together like sardines in a can.

I like to people watch, so I was able to entertain myself. It amazes me how ignorant some people can be sometimes. There are signs posted EVERYWHERE in the Passport office, NO CELL PHONES!!! That generally means NO CELL PHONES. As close as everyone was in that room, there was no privacy to hold a cell phone conversation anyway. Or so you would think. One lady decided that the rules did not apply to her and I guess she did not care that a room full of strangers could hear every word she said, along with everything that the person on the other end of the phone was saying, as the felt they needed to scream or something. So, we were lucky enough to hear a conversation about how she was legally blind and needed corrective lenses and the best her vision would ever be, even with lenses, is 60/40. "How can you not know that I am blind in one eye? You bought me glasses when I was 7."

It also blows my mind how many people do NOT read directions. I filled out the paperwork for my mom, so I know that the directions were not difficult to read or understand. When the paper says that you MUST have an original copy of your birth certificate and that it MUST be translated into English, it usually means that you need an original copy of your birth certificate and that it is in English. I counted at least 3 people that did not follow these rules. And they got MAD at the Postal Worker, like it was their fault.

There was a lady in the corner doing lunges and squats. And a lady that tried to maneuver a HUGE full-sized stroller though the room, across people's toes and bruising everyone in the process. The Passport offices closes at 2. I lost count of how many people came in the door after 2, even though there was a big sign on the door, "PASSPORT OFFICE HOURS 9am to 2pm". And these people expected to be waited on. The lady at the counter was nice enough to let them stay. But one lady had the nerve to ask, "How long is this going to take? I'm in a big hurry and need to be out of here as quickly as possible." Sorry honey, you have to wait just like everyone else does and some of us have been waiting for 3 hours!

After 3 hours of waiting, we were finally called up to the counter. YAY. My mom had her picture taken, swore that the pictures were of her, and forked over $208.40 for an expedited passport (2-3 weeks as opposed to 6-10). Then we were out of there!

Along with these adventures today, Ainsley managed to squeeze in an addition to her vocabulary. Her new word? Uh oh! Only it comes out more like, Oh oh! It is SO cute and she says it when it is appropriate, such as when she dropped her pacifier in the garage or when she spit out a mouthful of her dinner. She is SO smart.