Yet Another New version of the ABC Song

Please take note that the ABC song has changed to, " A B C D E ewwwww!" Pass this info to anyone that you know who might want to avoid embarrassment in the future by not knowing the new version.

The 2nd Disability Doctor's Appointment and Practice on the Potty

My mom had her mental exam today for the Disability appeal process. Everything went smoothly this time around. No nasty nurses or anything. I was even more prepared today though, I had the diaper bag crammed full of My Little Ponies, Little People, Disney Princesses, and Care Bears, along with snacks and milk. Just in case it took 2 or more hours like the last appointment.

The waiting room at this office was TINY. There was a small couch and a chair, along with a magazine rack full of kids books and crayons. Ainsley loved the crayons, even if they didn't color right. They were the cheap-o kind that look like they are made of hard plastic. She just wanted to swirl them around in the plastic storage bin that they were in. The doctor also had a big wicker box in the corner, full of toys. Ainsley pulled out a 12 inch tall Gumby doll, got this odd look on her face, and threw the doll across the room. Then she ran it over with an Army truck. She's definitley my girl with her intense dislike of Gumby.

Ainsley did learn today that Mommy really DOES know what she is talking about sometimes when I tell her not to do something or she is going to get hurt. She kept opening and closing the door in the lobby of the doctor's office. I told her to stop or she was going to pinch her fingers. Guess what happened? She didn't stop and she pinched her finger. She SCREAMED unlike anything I have ever heard come out of her before, but she was fine after a few minutes.

Ainsley's favorite new thing to do is to follow you to the bathroom. She will raise the seat on her little potty chair, sit down and say, "I go pee pee!". She then will take 2 squares of toilet paper and "wipe" her diaper and say, "Ewwww!" She hasn't really figured out yet that the toilet paper then goes in the potty, not handed to Mommy, but she is going through the motins every time someone goes to the bathroom. She will soon be ready to really go pee pee in her potty every time, which will be a very WONDERFUL thing.

Misadventures at the Disability Doctor's Office and the New ABC Song

So my mom is in the process of appealing being turned down for Disability. That means that she has to go to doctor's appointments set up by the Disability people. Today was one of those appointments. We drove 35 minutes to get to the office and go inside. I, of course, have Ainsley with me. She is sitting quietly in her stroller, being SO good. The nurse comes out and calls my Mom. Seeing as how her memory is shot, I stand up to go back with her. This nurse looks at me and says, "We do not allow children in this office. You are not welcome to come back here with your mother."

WTF??? I had done nothing and said nothing to this woman, yet she was being nasty for no reason. I sat back down and began the wait.........

2 hours later, the nasty nurse comes out, picks up my purse off the table, sits it on the floor, and then sits down in the chair next to me. She says, " I don't know what your problem is. You had an attitude when you came in here today. Why are you so angry?"

My response was, "How much longer is my mom going to be?"

"We do a full examination here and that takes about 2 hours. You were told this when we called last week to confirm the appointment." ( I was NOT told this when they called. The lady told me that it would take 30-45 minutes.)

She then goes on to tell me, "I was going to tell you a few things about your mom's exam, but with your attitude, I am choosing to tell you nothing." (Again, I had done and said NOTHING to this woman.)

She got up and walked over to the door that led back into the office, but they keep it locked from the lobby side. This pissed her off, so she proceeded to KICK the door very hard and loud. Very PROFESSIONAL behaviour. I'm not really sure what I did to deserve to be treated the way I was and if there was someone I could report her to, I would. But I don't think the Disability people really care that much.

I'm still not sure how the appointment went, other than my mom's right leg is 1 inch shorter than her left, her Coumadin and Thyroid levels are perfect, and there was no eye sight reading for her right eye as she could not see the chart at all with it. My mom couldn't tell me anything else.......

She has another appointment tomorrow morning at 11 am. This one is a mental exam. We shall see how that one goes.

On a brighter note, Ainsley has decided that the ABC song now goes, "A B C D I F P E E E". So please make sure to take note so that you do not embarrass yourself in the future by singing it wrong. Ainsley has SPOKEN.

Sandblasted at the Beach and Ainsley's First Freckle

In a fit of genius today, we decided to load Ainsley up in her beach stroller and walk to the beach. Might have been a great idea had it not been so windy. When there are gale force winds inland, you can bet it's WINDY at the beach. Did we think of this? HECK NO! Never once crossed our minds.

Before I go into detail about how our beach visit was, let me first let me tell you about what happened while we were getting dressed for the beach.

We got Ainsley all decked out in her little swim diaper and bikini top, put her beach cover-up on and snapped her little sun hat on her head. She was looking so stinkin' cute. Bopping around with her little ruffle butt. I go into the kitchen to get her some liquids to take with us to the beach. She is following me around, whining. So I picked her up and immediately knew that something was off......she had POOPED IN HER SWIM DIAPER!!!!!

Seeing as how the diaper fits her well, I was very confused as to how I was going to pull this off, getting her diaper off without smearing the poop all over her and the diaper even more so than it was already. Well, with some very tricky moves on my part, I was able to get the diaper off her and contain the poop. I was also able to rinse the diaper out and make it good as new so that she could put it back on and still go to the beach. GO MOMMY!

So, fast forward to the beach.

We manage to get the stroller through the dry sand, which is a very difficult thing to do. It's just a regular stroller, not some fancy off-road model. It's pretty windy there on the beach and the wind is whipping the sand at us like we are being sandblasted. HURT LIKE ANYTHING. Ainsley decides that she wants to walk around when the wind is blowing slightly less and not whipping sand at her. As soon as the sand starts blowing again, she wants to be picked up. I can't say that I blame her really, that stuff hurt. We walked down to the water and put our feet in, only to immediately pull back frozen blocks of ice. That water was FREEZING.

One of Ainsley's favorite things to do at the beach is to dig in the sand. Only she bends over at the waist and digs with her hands, like a dog. She'll dig for a minute, then walk on. She also likes to find shells and use them as digging tools.

She pointed at the seagulls and sandpipers and said, "Duck!" Then she walked back over to her stroller and started buckling the seat belt, so we loaded her back in and went home. We had spent about half an hour out there in the sandblasting conditions, so we were not only ready to go home, but we were also exfoliated from the knees down.

Earlier in the day, when we were getting her dressed in her swim diaper, we noticed that she had her very first FRECKLE! It's so cute. It's kind of on her left side, where her elbow hits her side when she walks. We checked her over, but that was the only freckle that we found.

Adventures with a Palmetto Bug, Waitng at the Passport Office, and a New Word Added to the Vocabulary

As part of my daily morning routine, one of the first things I do after changing Ainsley's diaper, is let the dogs outside to go potty. Well, this morning I opened the back door to allow the pups access to the great outdoors and sitting there in the doorstep just outside the door is a frickin' HUGENORMOUS palmetto bug! As the dogs scampered out with legs crossed, they managed to somehow overlook the bug sitting there that was as big as they were. Living in Florida, I am no stranger to palmetto bugs. Does this mean that I don't mind them or find them to be wonderful little creatures? Nope, not one bit. I know that they are not roaches, but still, they look just like them, only BIGGER, so therefore, are more DISGUSTING. Ugh.

So anyway, the dogs scampering past this thing made it decide to run. Where did it run, you ask? Why, inside my house is where it decided to run. WONDERFUL. I immediately grab a flip flop to chase this bugger down with, as it is scurrying across the floor to Ainsley's toys. OH HECK NO. If that bug went in her toy box, I'd never find it. Her toy box is like a black hole, things go in but they don't come out. Thank goodness something made this bug decide to change paths and run in the other direction.

Picture this........ I am still in my pajamas, barefoot and not fully awake, chasing this bug with a hot pink flip flop raised in the air, like I am on my way to battle. Ainsley is running after me, still in her pajamas and barefoot, but she is fully awake. Her little finger is outstretched, pointing at this bug. Coming out of her mouth is an everlasting stream of, "Ewww ewww ewwww!!!!!!" The dogs were on the outside windowsill, looking in at us like we were insane. I'm sure we were a site to behold.

After a few minutes of chasing this bug, it decides to run back outside. Whew! I really DO NOT like crushing bugs with shoes. SO GROSS. Finally, we were bug free and able to drink our coffee and milk.

A little while later, it was time to load up and take Nah-Nah (my mom, to Ainsley) to the Post Office to apply for her Passport. We had all of the paperwork filled out and ready to go. She had her birth certificate in her purse. As neither one of us have ever had a passport, we did not know what to expect once we got to the Post Office. I was ASSuming that we would just stand in the regular line for the Post Office and be in and out within 30 minutes, tops. I was SO wrong. Off the main lobby of this particular Post Office, there is a minuscule room. Inside this room, there are 15 or 20 chairs, all filled with people. There are also people standing along the walls and windows. This was the Passport Office. WHOOPEE!!! Good thing I had snacks and milk for Ainsley.

My mom got signed in and we began our wait. After about 5 minutes or so, 2 chairs along the wall were vacated, so we staked our claim on them. Not too long later, another employee came out and starting calling names. There were now 2 people working hard to get the room emptied out. Seeing as how each person was taking approximately 15-20 minutes each, I knew this was going to take a while. WONDERFUL. Exactly what I like to do with an antsy toddler, wait around in a room full of people, crammed together like sardines in a can.

I like to people watch, so I was able to entertain myself. It amazes me how ignorant some people can be sometimes. There are signs posted EVERYWHERE in the Passport office, NO CELL PHONES!!! That generally means NO CELL PHONES. As close as everyone was in that room, there was no privacy to hold a cell phone conversation anyway. Or so you would think. One lady decided that the rules did not apply to her and I guess she did not care that a room full of strangers could hear every word she said, along with everything that the person on the other end of the phone was saying, as the felt they needed to scream or something. So, we were lucky enough to hear a conversation about how she was legally blind and needed corrective lenses and the best her vision would ever be, even with lenses, is 60/40. "How can you not know that I am blind in one eye? You bought me glasses when I was 7."

It also blows my mind how many people do NOT read directions. I filled out the paperwork for my mom, so I know that the directions were not difficult to read or understand. When the paper says that you MUST have an original copy of your birth certificate and that it MUST be translated into English, it usually means that you need an original copy of your birth certificate and that it is in English. I counted at least 3 people that did not follow these rules. And they got MAD at the Postal Worker, like it was their fault.

There was a lady in the corner doing lunges and squats. And a lady that tried to maneuver a HUGE full-sized stroller though the room, across people's toes and bruising everyone in the process. The Passport offices closes at 2. I lost count of how many people came in the door after 2, even though there was a big sign on the door, "PASSPORT OFFICE HOURS 9am to 2pm". And these people expected to be waited on. The lady at the counter was nice enough to let them stay. But one lady had the nerve to ask, "How long is this going to take? I'm in a big hurry and need to be out of here as quickly as possible." Sorry honey, you have to wait just like everyone else does and some of us have been waiting for 3 hours!

After 3 hours of waiting, we were finally called up to the counter. YAY. My mom had her picture taken, swore that the pictures were of her, and forked over $208.40 for an expedited passport (2-3 weeks as opposed to 6-10). Then we were out of there!

Along with these adventures today, Ainsley managed to squeeze in an addition to her vocabulary. Her new word? Uh oh! Only it comes out more like, Oh oh! It is SO cute and she says it when it is appropriate, such as when she dropped her pacifier in the garage or when she spit out a mouthful of her dinner. She is SO smart.

Grocery Shopping at the Children's Museum

So today, I loaded up Ainsley in the car and took her to the Hands On Children's Museum. She absolutely LOVES that place. As soon as we pulled into the parking lot, I could hear her in the backseat, squirming against her car seat restraints. She was making this noise, kind of reminded me of a new born puppy. When I unbuckled her, she was in my arms like a little monkey. I have never seen her like that before. She was SO stinkin' excited!

We signed in and the placed was PACKED. I meandered through the museum to the First Adventures room, which is a room for kids under 3. It's great. It's like a giant toybox full of all sorts of toys. They kids can tear into the place and you can relax on the bench or in a comfy rocking chair, knowing that you DO NOT have to pick up after your kid! Where else can you do that??? Nowhere!

There was one grandmother with her granddaughter, who was maybe just under 3. She was playing quietly in the corner. Ainsley charges into the room and immediately brings the room to life. There is so much there for the kids to do, they almost seem manic, going from one toy to the next like there just isn't enough time to see them all. Ainsley is a little Toddler Tornado anyway, but put her in a room that is packed wall-to-wall and floor-to-ceiling with toys, and it is an AMAZING site to behold!

A few minutes later, 2 other Mommies come in the room. Both have little girls and one has a tiny little baby in a stroller. They were coming in to use the changing station room that is attached to the First Adventures room. They were supposed to use it and leave, as their girls were older than 3. Did that happen? Nope. Was it a problem? Well, it wouldn't have been if the one girl had not been so FRICKIN" loud. She kept screaming at the other girl, who was doing a superb job of ignoring her. "AUBREY, AUBREY, AUBREY. LOOK AT THIS! THIS IS FOR BABIES. I"M GONNA RIDE IT! AUBREY AUBREY AUBREY. CRAWL THROUGH THIS TUNNEL AFTER ME. GET IN THE WAGON SO I CAN PULL YOU AUBREY, GET IN RIGHT NOW! WHY IS HER IN MY WAY (speaking of poor Ainsley who was shell-shocked)?" This went on for about half an hour, until the Mommies decided to load up their ginormous kids (seriously, they were like 5!) and go back out to the big kid areas.

The room was VERY quiet after they left. Peaceful, really.

Ainsley continued to play in that room for another 45 minutes or so. I decided it was time to leave that room when one of the employees came in and decided that NOW was the perfect time to come in and disinfect toys. BRILLIANT!!! Of course, the cleaners that she was using were very potent, and they almost immediately set off my allergies. I was wheezing and my eyes were watering. AWFUL STUFF! What would they have done if one of those kids had been asthmatic and the cleaners set off a serious asthma attack? Seriously, some people just do not think before they do. Children, especially small children, should NOT be around strong chemical smells for any reason.

We left the First Adventures room and ventured out to the "Big Kid" area. Ainsley was in awe. She immediately found the big kid ballpit, which was void of children. So, I took our shoes off and in we went. Well, in Ainsley went. I had a little bit of a harder time getting in. Imagine this........ I am sitting at the top of the little staircase that leads into the ballpit. I had just deposited Ainsley into the balls. One leg is over the top of the stairs, in the ballpit. The other leg in still at the bottom of the staircase, 4 steps down. Me, being the INCREDIBLE GENIUS that I can be sometimes, am trying to figure out how to get the rest of the way into the ballpit. Instead of pulling the one leg out of the balls and climbing in head first like it is meant to be done, I choose to try and rip myself in 2. The adult human body is NOT meant to be manuvered around like that, let me tell you. WOW. After fighting for 5 minutes and dislocating both knees and a hip, I was in the ballpit with Ainsley.

She thought that the ballpit was GREAT until I decided to scoot around in front of her to get a picture. My scooting caused her to slide down, under the balls. All you could see was the tip top of her little blonde head. As you can imagine, she DID NOT care for this at all. She began screaming at the top of her little lungs, until I was able to scoot through the balls and pick her up. Moving fast in a pit of balls is not going to happen, no matter how hard you try. I promise you.

After I saved my child from the evil kid-eating balls, she decided to get out and go grocery shopping. She got a little cart and proceeded to cruise the aisles of the "grocery store". It was quite amusing to watch her shop. I never realized just how close she watches me when I shop, but it was a Mini Me experience. She scratched her head while looking at the produce. She picked the produce up and closely inspected it. She picked up boxes and turned them over, I am assuming to read the Nutrition Labels??? She chose her groceries very carefully, but she fell in love with the spices. Just like her Mommy. Even when I do not need any spices, I will stop and look and enjoy the smells. Guess it is a good thing I am not in the habit of scratching my bum while I grocery shop........

That was the end of our trip for the day. I loaded her up into her seat and home we went. She of course, stayed wide awake until we were 5 minutes from the house. The she was out cold. I tried to transfer her still sleep, into the house. No luck there. She woke up. Though she did end up sleeping for about 2.5 hours later.